We Could At Least Be Civil (Common Ground.)

The humanization of the Kromaggs, or the De-humanization of Rembrandt Brown?

This episode isn’t about Kromanus. It’s about Rembrandt.

Of course, it’s hard to actually see that without looking very, very hard. There’s subtlety in the script, but once it leaves the page it’s lost in an ugly miasma of overscored and overdirected nonsense. Every shot seems to last too long, like it’s waiting for a voiceover that will never come. It reminds me of that quote from Chapterhouse: Dune that I quoted in my review of “Slide Like an Egyptian”—

Intentional detail in everything although sometimes you had to dig for it. Budget dictated reduced quality in many choices, endurance preferred over luxury or eye appeal. Compromise, and like most compromise, satisfying no one.

In honesty, this is the only way to appreciate Sliders as it’s become. It isn’t a show for everyone. But below all the painfully dated decisions and lack of cohesion, there’s a wonderful show. It’s hours like “Common Ground” that underline this fact so completely. If you want to watch a show that actually has a lot to say about humanity and how we deal with extreme tragedy, then you can find all that in Sliders. But if you want to see emotionless schlock, that’s up to you too.

But I’m choosing the former. And I think you should, too.

 

READ IT ON EARTH PRIME.

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I Believe In Myself (Prophets & Loss).

Just when I thought that the show would forever be a slog, we get a pretty damn good episode pulled out of the ass of the Multiverse.

If you’ve ever had a bone to pick with organized religion (and in 2012, who hasn’t?), then this episode is made especially for you. Plus, at least eight people get straight up incinerated!

SSSSSSSMOKIN’!

Read it at EARTHPRIME.

No Matter How Fantastic (Genesis).

 

And so it begins.

The fourth season of Sliders. Where things get a little weird. And by weird, of course, I mean that that wacky ol’ race of differently evolved Sliding ape-beasts turns out to have conquered Earth Prime while Quinn was busy making out with Maggie (who’s got a really nice new hair cut, btw).

READ IT AT EARTHPRIME.

Get Them Home (This Slide of Paradise).

Here it is.

The season finale of a true journey. It began as a new direction, settled for mediocrity, then wound up in Hell.

This is by far the worst episode of the show we’ve seen. Mutants, a waste of Michael York, Rickman. The end of Rickman. The end of taste…

…and the last episode with Sabrina Lloyd.

So here it is, a 4500 word memorial to Wade Welles.

Read it on Earth Prime.

Billions Of Fish Can’t Be Wrong (Dinoslide).

This week on Sliders: Dinosaurs again! Which, for some reason, brings out the best the show has to offer. Also, I stock up on screencaps of Wade because I only have one more opportunity to do so. And boy, does that fact make me way more sad than it should…

READ IT ON EARTH PRIME.

Paintballs Filled With Holy Water (Stoker).

This week on Sliders:

Yeah, there’s like, this vampire rock band— they used to be like, doowop or whatever, but now they’re like, shitty alt-goth or something— and they’re like, putting voodoo spells on chicks and then eating them, or something, and that one guy from That 70s Show that isn’t Fez, Ashton Kutcher, or Topher Grace (or the Dad) works for them, but I don’t think he’s a Vampire… I don’t know, he might be.

Oh yeah, and that Rickman dude dresses like a priest and hides his brain fluid syringe in a coffin-shaped hole he cut in a Bible. Oh, and apparently he dug up a dead dude who I guess just happened to share his name, but one of the pins off of his uniform in the coffin, and then reburied the dude— just in case Maggie decided to look up all the Dead Dudes in the World to check if the weird tattoo that lights up at death, find Rickman’s name, and then also dig up said Dude’s grave. Which, of course, she does. Oh, and Wade sings a tender ballad, puts on whiteface, crimps and teases her hair, and gets shitfaced on blood.

Oh, fuck, and I almost forgot: Tommy Chong plays a Vampire Hunter!

READ IT ON EARTHPRIME.